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Our Worst for our Kids Best?

June 24, 2008

Children need to see the best and worst of marriage in order to understand not only the depth of sin but also the luminescent glory of conviction, repentance, grace, reconciliation, and celebration. Otherwise relational darkness will be known but not named. And it will poison the hope of healing. ..Whenever parents fail to grow as human beings, we also refuse that growth opportunity for our children. We cant take our children any farther in life, relationahip, and love that the point we have chose to progress on our own and in our marriages…True redemption involves being struck dumb by the enormity of our failure and then struck even dumber by the enromity of the heart of God that cancels our debt.

~ Dan Allender, How Children Raise Parents, p. 94, 102, 104

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 30, 2008 2:14 pm

    this is something that i’ve spoken with Allison about some. as a child of divorced parents, i’ve seen the spectacular failure without the accompanying grace, i pray my kids get a picture of both & that we live honestly in front of them.

  2. Sam permalink
    July 21, 2008 4:37 pm

    I think it’s more likely that kids see the worst, rather than the best, of parental interaction. In that vein, I don’t think anyone needs to worry that we should make sure kids see the worst. Furthermore, it’s highly likely that kids remember the worst times much more vividly than the best times…

  3. July 30, 2008 6:38 pm

    I don’t agree that kids always see the worst. I saw so much hurt as a child that I overprotected by children from the reality of life. I never wanted them to see my husband and I argue. I wanted their world to be perfect and by doing so, shielded them from learning how to work through conflict.

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